How To Stop Worrying About Other People’s Opinions (And Live Your Life)

Every person desires to be accepted. Human beings are social animals and that’s why we love to belong to a group instead of being by ourselves. After all, we will survive better in groups. That’s why we do tend to measure our success based on how well we fit into the groups we’ve chosen for ourselves. Which makes what others think of us takes precedence over what we think about ourselves.

We live our life by doing things to please others even if we don’t believe in them. Eventually, our appearances, lives, and actions become molded by how people think and evaluate us. Living life according to other people is a terrible way of living. It makes you a person who waits for others to make decisions for you. The worst part is that it makes you someone who cannot take a stand for themselves.

If you are worried about what others think of you, here are some ways to let go and be yourself.

Read on! 

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Try to keep things in perspective

If a person takes little interest in what others think of them, they would also care a lot less about it. Everyone isn’t always judging you or thinking about you because they have a lot of other things on their minds. Even you can only think about so much at a time so why not think about the things that matter. Also, everyone has their insecurities. If you have just met a person and are worried about how they perceived you, keep in mind that they are also probably thinking the same.

Don’t overthink

Overthinking will always lead to you feeling judged and inadequate. Learn to get out of your mind when a negative thought strikes and try to replace them with positive thoughts.

Don’t try to please everyone

It’s not possible to live up to the expectations of everyone around you so run yourself into the ground trying. You must please yourself first and do what your heart tells you and the future will yours. Some people will not like your attitude but that’s okay.

Let go of perfection

We all think that we will be loved and admired when we get things right so we try to make everything perfect but it is a fruitless pursuit. Perfection is like an illusion and chasing it will only put you down in your mind.

Knowing yourself

What are the things you like? What do you want? Will certain choices make you happy in your career? Allow yourself to try new things and impress only and only yourself.

Find your tribe

There are people out there somewhere who will appreciate you for who you are. Try not to hang out with people who expect you to change according to their needs and wishes. Cultivate authenticity and you will surely find the people you’re meant to be with.

Mind your own business

Negative feedbacks come from negative people because the ones who care about you give you only constructive criticism. Mind your own business and stop asking people about what they think about you. Their opinions will not make you unhappy or unsuccessful if you only work with your self.

Trust yourself

It is difficult to move against the grain, take risks, face disapproval or speak out when we’ve been taught to please. You need to let go of the conditioning and decide what happens to you. So trust yourself and go for it. We can’t always grow by playing safe. We need to allow ourselves to grow by giving ourselves a chance to fail.

Love yourself

The anxiety you feel about what others think of you can be overcome by self-awareness. When you learn to love yourself, flaws and all, you close doors on all criticism. Not only will you work on making yourself better every day, for your own self, you will also not care about what others think because you know who you are. Self-love is the first and the best step towards owning your own life!

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How To Be A Happy Stay At Home Mom

Probably the most difficult job in the world and the most unappreciated one is being a stay-at-home mommy (SAHM). You’re a cook, a cleaner, a babysitter, a driver, a caretaker all in one but you rarely get the appreciation or remuneration you deserve for it. However, being a stay-at-home mommy, especially when you were previously working can take a toll on your sanity. It can become very difficult to be at home for the majority of the day, even though you’re spending it taking care of your little ones and nobody can ever judge you for it. This is why its so important to develop a schedule and establish some ground rules so that, at the end of the day, you’re a happy mum with no complaints.

1. Get Dressed Every Day

Knowing that you’ll be spending all your time at home can make you lazy but make it a point that you take out some time every single day to get dressed and look your best. You aren’t doing this for anyone but yourself only. Tending to yourself will only boost your self-confidence even if you don’t plan on stepping out. 

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2. Find Something You Love

Don’t forget that your identity is more than that of a mom. So you need to find an activity that is just yours and that you can do when the kids are asleep or busy. It can be something as simple as knitting or cooking or something more complicated like working out or learning a new skill. This will help you take out time for yourself and you’ll feel fulfilled and happy at the end of the day.

3. Remember You’re A Mom…

…not a maid. It’s a common assumption that women who’re at home to take care of the kids will be doing all of the chores like cooking and cleaning too. Things should happen as they would if you were working. Delegate chores to your kids and husband too. Let them pick up after themselves. They live in the house too. You can even get professional help like a cook or a cleaner if you feel like.

4. Don’t Be Hard On Your Partner

If you were working pre-babies, it’s easy to feel resentment towards your partner that he’s there enjoying life but you’re here stuck at home. So don’t rely on him for constant validation or to read your mind or know what you need by reading your mind. Be vocal about what you want if you’re feeling down or how he can help you to do better. So don’t compete with him, work with him to make your life better!

5. Remember To Take Breaks

Wanting a break is absolutely okay. Nobody can judge you for it. After all, think about it – when you’re working in a office, you get leaves on the weekend and there are no weekly offs for when you’re a weekly mom. So taking a break once in a while is only fair. If a family member you trust offers help, take them up on it. You can return the favor later. If possible, you can even leave your children with their grandparents and go for a weekend getaway!

6. Have A Support Group

Nobody can understand your struggles of being a stay-at-home mom like the other SAHMs can. So build a strong support system for yourself through WhatsApp groups, weekly meetings or whatever works you. This way you’ll have someone to go to for advice or to vent to. They’ll understand exactly what you’re going through and be able to guide you through it!

7. Do Not Get Into Petty Comparisons

If you’re on social media (which we all are), it’s really easy to get into comparisons with others. Maybe your childhood friends don’t have kids yet and you can see them traveling to places you’ve always wanted to visit. Or maybe your former colleagues are doing better than ever in their jobs while you’re at home. Seeing all this may make you feel that you’re not exactly where you are but remember, comparisons are only the first step to being unhappy with your life.

8. Let Loose Sometimes

There is nothing like perfection, especially when it comes to motherhood. For once, take a break from trying to make everything perfect and just let go. Play with your kids, relive your childhood and let those dishes be!

9. Be Grateful

Instead of always thinking about what you’re missing or what life could’ve been, focus on what you have now. Thinking about how you could’ve had paychecks or could’ve been having a nice lunch with friends is only going to make you feel bad about yourself. You can, however, make your life better by thinking of the positives in your life like spending all that time with your precious little ones and giving them a beautiful life.

Picture Credit: Shweta Agrawal (Mommy in our Facebook Community)

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Every Mother Needs A ‘Mom Group’ To Help Her Survive The Challenges Of Motherhood

‘It takes a village to raise a child’ is a famous African proverb that holds true even today. Mothers need the help of people around her to raise her child in the best possible manner. However, in today’s day and age when families are getting smaller since most people are working in the metropolitan cities away from their families, the only two people responsible for the child are the mother and father. The truth of the matter, though, is parenthood is a new challenge for everyone – one they could not have practically prepared for no matter how many books they read or how many stories they hear in advance.

That’s why all moms need to rally for each other. When families get smaller, your friends end up being your family. And when the going gets tough, it’s your mom friends who come to your rescue.

So here are some reasons every mother needs to be a part of a mom group!

Let’s find out!

Support like no other!

There are some concerns only mothers can understand. Talking to someone who is in the same boat as yours makes you feel better because you know that, at the end of the day, you’re not the only one dealing with these issues and that can give you the much-needed boost too!

Experience talks

Another mother may have already experienced what you’re currently going through. While you may be at your wit’s end, there will be someone to advise and guide you through it and that’ll be a huge relief for you! You may not follow their advice but just having an alternate course of action will put your mind to ease.

Prepare for eventualities

There is no handbook for being the best mom or knowing what your kid is going to do next. Talking to other moms will help you anticipate and prepare for situations that may arise with your own little one. This way, you won’t be caught off-guard when something unexpected with your child happens.

Emotional outlet

We all have bad days and sometimes, all you need to do is vent out. Nobody can lend you a better ear than the moms you’re friends with because they know what it feels like to be overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done – from the pending deadlines at work to taking care of your home to your child. Your mom’s friends will sit and listen to you when needed and give you a much-needed hug!

There’s absolutely no judgment

They are probably the only people in the world who’ll understand why you turned up for the playdate in sweatpants looking like a hot mess! If that’s not a reason enough, I really can’t give you a better one!

Also Read
Early Warning Signs Of Postpartum Depression
Making Self-Care Priority For Moms

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Looking to start your own blog and need expert advise? Get consultation from Neha Agarwal. Email her on neha@criesandcrawls.com

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