Never thought about writing a blog but its better late than never.
It’s been a while that I came across this incident and ever since I m in debate in my mind… I heard a new term “Natural Mother” and later I learned I am half natural mother because I conceived my kids in natural way but delivered them through Cesarean. Among All the educated people, I felt numb & speechless…
In a small gathering, topic came about surrogacy, adoption and IVF including normal n cesarean delivery. An elderly aunt said- “U gals deliver thru cesarean. You never bore the labor pain, that’s why you don’t understand real pain of child n that’s another reason why your kids prefer phone over their parents. I don’t take those ladies as a mother who gets their child via surrogacy n ivf…” B4 I cud digest all these she added – “also how can say you are a real mom when u have adopted… your genes n blood don’t match. It doesn’t consider to b a family”.
I left d party n Came back thinking. In these 4 yrs of motherhood, I always thought our ways n ideas are different but we All want to be a mother.
Do we choose cesarean? Mostly NO. But even we choose to get operated, how can it be a easy decision. In foreign countries, during pregnancy, ladies are given option to choose normal or cesarean delivery. Nobody questions that. Getting a permanent mark on your body is easily bearable than labor pain? Risking your health n baby’s health is Ok but not cesarean. N yes, for the 2nd time, I choose cesarean. I told my Doctor, I would like to go for cesarean n save my energy for the baby. I can’t let my elder one see that I am in Pain. I made my choice, and so be it.
If you are poor in maths and take tuitions, get results, its good. But if your reproduction is poor, you take medical help and conceive the baby the baby through IVF or go for Surrogacy; you end up insulting the entire universe. We have zeal n endless love for something, how can taking help be wrong, that to legally and with all the consent? Science made progress but couldn’t take people with it.
Adopting someone’s lifestyle, work style, mantra of life is fine, but adopting a baby isn’t. Just because you aren’t blessed naturally, medical helps aren’t working, or you couldn’t find a right life partner. Is that it? We were taught to adopt pets, trees and good habits, isn’t baby good enough to take care. Our hearts are filled with love and we want to love and to be loved, then why stuck with blood, genes and caste n other background. Somebody needs love and care and you have all the sources to fill it. That’s it.
Some are gifted n some find their ways. How can a lady be a lesser mother who adopted to those who went through normal delivery? Don’t they love their kid same way? Don’t they both try to make the world a happier place for d kid? Try their best to b best parent…All I believe in last few years is everything is not in our hands or foreheads. We get, we fight and we make our choices and it should be respected. Still @times it becomes so difficult to change d mind set… We wear different shoes in different sizes n brand n color, lead to different path but our destination of happiness, giving our child best parenting & values remains same. I dedicate this blog to all the Mommies… Wish you all a very happy Parenting n Bond with kids.
Megha Gaurav Agrawal
(Often known as Naira / Shaira’s mother)
Disclaimer: The opinion expressed here is solely of the author. The content doesn’t represent Cries And Crawls or it’s team. Any errors are the author’s and we are not liable or responsible for them.